Introducing first...^_^

     hi....^^actually i am just an ordinary girls with a normal life...^_^ so i write this blog just to story my life, so maybe some of it is my real experience, and maybe some of it just i create it...
    so, i start this blog at 28march2011, actually yesterday is just like a hell day in mylife.... for me everyday is just like a hell day... i am lonely, i didnt had people to talk, i am alone..... i had to alone to face everything, i always ask why i had such a terrible life? while others had a charm life?? brother?sister? for me they are not the best people to had a talk... they didnt understand me.. am i too over if i just ask for a person that can be my listener?am i? everything turn to so mess when my mom pass away a few month ago.... why??? it is a terrible feel when we lost someone that very close to us suddenly... it wonts be easy to accept it....
     first, i think my cousin can be my listener, but lately i notice that he cant be my listener, because, he will had girlfriend... he had to be her girlfriend listener, not mine... i think i can forgot about my mom with keep myself busy... but i know it no effect.... even i got my spm result, for me i am quite sastisfied with my result, but... it can refill the lost in my heart... start missing her...every night... almost every week i will dream about her....

     smiling just a way to hide my actual feeling.... always make the smiling face but inside is broken down... feeling empty, lonely...
     actually, i kind of like a guy... he is a friend for me, a very kind friend, even he always just like not care about everything.... but i dont know why, when my mom pass away, just a few words in a simple sms from him make me feel so warm...like i am being care by him... but sometimes he treat me so nice but sometimes not... his this sometimes hot and sometimes cold make me feel so confuse. Plus, he friend told me that he might like me, make me just want to tell him that, if you like me just tell me, and if u dont like me just kept the distance between us and just tell me that u are not like me, dont give me any hope.. because i am so afraid to dissapointed already....